Dear whomever is reading this if you have not experienced being in love let me be the one to tell you that I have not either. If you have experienced love hopefully you agree with some of my thoughts and if you don’t let me know in the comments section below. I am not in love and I am okay with that. I believe in fate and destiny. It hasn’t been within my present situation to have a certain emotional connection to someone. I don’t feel pressured to be with someone because I am happy being on my own. I know that whenever it happens I will embrace it and hopefully be ready. I am open to the idea of love, but right now I am selfish. My time is to precious for me to share my time with someone else. I FEEL that when it happens, it will happen and it’s something that even I won’t be able to reject.
Here is my perspective of what love is and the implications that love has in one’s emotional state. For all things, love can be sometimes scary. Love is about being vulnerable and demonstrating all your feelings toward one person. Vulnerability may not always be so easy because you are showing your true self even the things that you may not always like about yourself. In addition, because you are in love you are susceptible to having your heart broken and that that is scary for anyone. Some people put up walls so that they don’t become as emotionally invested for the fear of being let down or betrayed. Vulnerability breaks down those walls and you are left with your true self. Even a friendship I would argue takes vulnerability, but in a relationship it involves multiple different layers. There is a deeper emotional connection. It’s showing the good, the bad, and the embarrassing to that person and being okay that they love you for it.
It is okay to feel vulnerable; you are not letting your guard down. You are just opening yourself to someone and trusting that person. People who are strong willed sometimes, see vulnerability as weakness. Vulnerability should not be a weakness people should see it as strength because you are opening up yourself to someone.
We live in a world with mixed signals where people show affection by sending a text rather than giving a hug. That text could be a way that may show an emotional attraction, but it could also just be a simple checking up on you text. The new word of “talking” has formed as a way for a person to get to know someone else. Its an interest among both parties to start something. There is some vulnerability that occurs during this stage, but the only form of communication isn’t well since a relationship one hopes is more than text messages. There are so many ways to interpret a text message that we never truly know the reasoning behind it, unless the person tells you directly what they were trying to say. We are constantly plugged into our technology with no repercussions, but our own thoughts.
Love can emerge from childhood to friendships to caring about a person in a deeper level. I also think being in love is so beautiful because you are no longer on your own. You get to share everything with your significant other. With your partner, your goals become “our” goals. Your wants become each other’s needs. You don’t abandon who you are, but I think your significant other brings out the best in you and you bring out the best in him or at least that is what I hope that you want from them. “True love isn’t easy if it were easy we’d all have it” quoted by Snow White in my favorite show Once Upon A Time. I believe every word of that quote it comes from the most unexpected places and it finds you rather than you seeking for it. So be patient because the person that you are destined to be with will either find you or you will find him/her.
With love at times comes lust I have seen this from certain acquaintances. There is this ideology that you cannot live without the other person and need to be with that person 24/7 in order to be all right. Lust can become an obsession, which is dangerous. Lust could at times be disguised as love, but don’t think it is. Lust is unhealthy. You should care for yourself and then be able to care for your significant other. Lust only occurs for a certain time period, but then it ends and you are left with an uneasy feeling. We often associate lust in a relationship as the “honeymoon stage,” but it may depend on the relationship. It fades between the third or fourth month and then that is when the challenge emerges because of course there will be discussions and arguments. You are still learning about your person, and neither of you are perfect. It’s part of being in a relationship accepting the “uniqueness” of each other rather than seeing them as flaws or imperfections.
There is a constant saying that goes around when dealing with love “emotions are clouding your judgment.” It is implied that the person isn’t thinking rationally because they have their heart and emotion into it. Most of the times it has to do with problems in a relationship and the person is blinded by certain things in their partner because they are in love and cannot see it. This as well depends on the relationship. In psychology, we learn that affect and logic can sometimes be related to each other rather than always seeing them as separate. There is an interesting dichotomy within emotion and logic. Affect can help us with how we think and vice versa. So the next time you are questioning your emotions logic and rationality does play a role.
What I want people to get out of this blog post is for readers to see that being vulnerable is a part of love. That before you can learn to love others you should love yourself. That love is not easy and it’s a challenge that one-way or another we will have to face. That it is okay to be on your own until you feel ready to share your life with the other person. Also, that you should not feel pressured to be in a relationship remember that the most important relationship that you should have is with yourself. You should first know your wants, needs, goals, and who you are. It is okay to be selfish no one should judge you for it.