Countless amounts of times we are looked down upon because we aren’t wearing the trendiest outfit, or don’t look a certain way, or don’t fit the exact stereotypical image. It’s so important for you to know that YOU are strong and beautiful in your own way. It doesn’t matter how many times we are put down by others as long as we know who we are and comfortable with our own skin. If you know your own worth than you should not care by the comments or the other voices that linger in your head.
A lot of beauty comes from the mind. It makes us think what beauty really is. The Oxford English Dictionary defines beauty as “A combination of qualities such as shape, color, or form that pleases the aesthetic senses.” Aesthetics is how one sees art. The quote “true beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is very important, but people are more blinded by the intricacies than seeing the full picture. We are blinded by the details and don’t focus on the artwork at hand. I am writing this post as my contribution to helping out to the people who have ever lost confidence and don’t see themselves as beautiful and that at times hate themselves for looking as a certain way. Again I reiterate that YOU are beautiful. I understand that hearing this from a stranger maybe odd and it won’t immediately make you love yourself. I hope that by the end of this post you realize that you are more than just the exterior and beauty shape-shifts into many different forms.
I also wanted to write this blog post because I feel as the accepted image of beauty is taking over. You may wonder what is the accepted image? It is the image of the thigh gaps, the very skinny physique, the full-faced makeup individual, which has blonde hair or full black hair. This is the image that the media and society has ingrained beauty to be in our minds. THAT is beauty and I want to tell you all that beauty doesn’t have to be THAT.
We judge each other based on our looks, but what does that tells us about society? Instead of criticizing why don’t we learn to embrace what is out of the norm. People should feel beautiful without consequences without feeling weird or rejected from society. Feeling beautiful is such good feeling; we want young women to feel confident to feel empowered and that they of course matter. See how this plays with the mind because often times its OUR own mind that tells us how we should look like. I believe that the standards of beauty need to change. There are so many beautiful people, but no one particular image should be overpowering the others. There is a struggle with one own mind in feeling confident and beautiful. I look at as if it were tug of war one side being the accepted societal image and the other side being one’s own unique image. It’s a battle that must be fought for because many girls fall into the accepted image and there are consequences that have hurt many girls. Even guys at times lose the battle as well.
There are so many young girls who have difficulty in trying to fit in so they begin to starve themselves, watching what they eat, become bulimic, or workout excessively and sometimes it’s all of the above. All these things are unhealthy. Why the ridicule? Why the bullying? It doesn’t help that little comments like “I’m so fat” or “I can’t eat pizza I need to watch what I eat” become normal. This isn’t healthy nor is it normal. We need to stop with this culture. The key is building one’s confidence to feel both beautiful internally and externally. Know that the women in the magazines are not as real as you think many are retouched, photoshopped, have hair and makeup done professionally, and have unhealthy body proportions. If we keep allowing this accepted image to continue we are reproducing this image to the future generation and I can’t imagine how unhealthier it can become.
Why do people force themselves to go to extreme lengths to look a certain way? I ask why do you think they do this? Its because of societal pressures, of course that is not always the answer everyone has their own story and in no way does this answer apply to all, but for some it could be due to do that for the pressure to fit in. This is especially common for women who are pre-teens and teenagers. They want to fit in and not become secluded or be labeled as weird. The game or I like to call it the battle begins and women fall to the accepted image. We keep holding on to the rope trying to win and show that we have conquered the game, but it keeps on repeating. The other side becoming stronger and stronger with each game.
We keep maturing as we get older and being a teenager is hard enough. These young ladies are in a vulnerable state of their lives because they are growing up and are susceptible to what friends want or need rather than focusing on oneself. This of course doesn’t apply to all, but I look at it as a game of ring around the rosies. Everyone is holding hands with another happy with the group of people in a circle, but once the song ends the circle falls apart and the person is alone. The circle could represent societal standards the people in the circle could represent friends, media, even family. The fall and separation with others could represent the inner struggle with one’s own mind feeling isolated. It could also be the other way around. Again this analogy could be difficult to understand and that is okay. Try creating your own analogy; for me it makes sense to make it seem like that because I used to play that game. It’s crucial for society to focus beauty as an interior beauty. I like how models are accepting and are expressing that the standards of beauty should vary within culture and different parts of the world. We need to realize that we live in a world full of ambition and consumerism there is always someone trying to sell something for us so that we become more inclined to buy. Sadly the media/society is selling us that image.
I think what is most beautiful is one’s own personality and character.
As you have read through my post, I hope you are realizing that you are beautiful and it maybe difficult to reject the norms that society has ingrained within us. As a college student, I see a lot of women really confident and proud of how they look. It brings a smile to my face because they aren’t assimilating. They know they are unique and beautiful even without makeup, with their weight, and with their personality. Its good to feel confident and have an ego no one should tell you otherwise because once you feel confident you will see the world in a different way.
When I was a teenager I struggled with beauty. I am 5’2 rather short and curvy. I have a young facial complexion and have wide feet. I don’t have abs at all even though I run and my shoulders are broad. I had felt that my body was disproportionate and I was very careful with what I wore. I never considered myself beautiful because I didn’t see appearance as a big thing. I would not do my hair and never wore makeup. I just didn’t see beauty as something in the exterior, which is a good mindset to have, but the problem was that I was not confident in myself or saw myself beautiful in either forms-exterior and interior. This is where I wish I had been stronger because I do consider myself beautiful in the outside and in the inside. I try my best for my character to shine through. I now do put makeup. I style myself and I feel confident because I have that mindset of feeling like I matter. Feeling beautiful should not be considered as being conceited. There will always be people, who will have good or bad opinions, but it is up to US to feel proud and confident in whom we are no matter what others say. I am not going to deny that sometimes I don’t feel beautiful it’s that inner struggle with myself that many young ladies my age struggle with. But I remind myself that I am a strong independent and beautiful woman. The definition of beauty should be different for everyone. I still feel uncomfortable embracing certain parts of my body or even have the confidence to call them beautiful. Even now, I am still playing a game of ring around the Rosies and tug of war, but I make sure that I end up winning and the standards or stereotypical image end up falling/losing.
I hope that my story inspires you to be proud of your own worth. I hope that this post inspires discussion and one by one we can start increasing young women’s confidence and beauty perspectives. Everyone is unique and we should embrace the differences within us rather than try to fit into an image that doesn’t reflect who we are.
The definition of beauty has changed all throughout time. Hopefully it will keep changing toward a positive body image and many different perspectives of beauty.
You are beautiful and are worth so much.Remember to know that you are not alone and there are people that can help.